In case I haven't mentioned it, I am pregnant. 21 weeks. It's a girl!
We're of course very excited. As are the SHONA women, who have been wondering for quite some time why we don't have children.
So far, I have been feeling quite well and things seem to be going ok and the baby looks fine. But as I am sure anyone who has been pregnant here in the States will probably tell you, pregnancy seems to involve a lot of numbers these days. Especially here in New York, it seems there is a lot of blood screening and testing of various sorts. The results of these tests are often statistics. You have a 1 in X chance of having a baby with this problem or that. Sometimes those statistics can be reassuring, and sometimes not. But in any case, I am often left with 2 realizations.
1. It is fascinating how much they can learn through a blood test or see on an ultrasound
2. And yet there is still so much about life that can't be seen...
At my most recent ultrasound I was thinking how I would describe an ultrasound to the SHONA women. There are no words. I don't think they would believe me. Or else they would believe me wholeheartedly, and assume that we must be able to see and control everything about this baby.
But it is hard to describe this middle ground where our fancy machines can help us know so much, and yet still leave us guessing.
I'm thankful to be pregnant here in the US with the benefits of medicine and technology. And I wish that women in Congo had these same benefits. But I am also aware that in many ways, no matter all the technology, pregnancy is a reminder of all the ways we cannot see or know the future. And in surrendering to that, I understand a little bit more, the resilience of Congolese women.