To Stay or To Go

To stay or to go?

This is a conversation that the SHONA ladies have been having since the rebels seized Goma a few weeks ago.  After all, what do you do, when fighting arrives at your doorstep?  Do you hunker down, or do you try to get out?  And if you leave, where do you go?  How do you get there (especially if you are disabled) and what do you do with all the relatives and children who have sought shelter in your home, because they've already had to flee their own homes?

I remember being told about the volcanic eruption in Goma in 2002.  The nearby volcano erupted and spewed lava onto a huge portion of the town.

  Even then, there were people who  didn't leave.  Afraid that they would lose everything they owned, or perhaps too sick to run.  Or maybe with too many children to carry.  There were a lot of people who barely fled in time.  And by the same token, the population flocked back to Goma, long before the experts declared it safe.  People headed back to Goma while the lava was still hot on the ground.  Or so I've been told.  That image has always stuck in my head, of rushing back into the inferno.

Because it is home.
Because if you don't someone will probably loot your home of all that you have.
Because to be a refugee is to suffer.  And to be a refugee in a place where you are not welcomed, is to suffer even more.

When the rebels attacked Goma, the ladies stayed for a night and listened to the explosions overhead.  The next day, they decided to leave but had to split up because there was no other way to get out.  One of the unspoken tragedies of war is the way it separate loved ones.

For the ladies, they were fortunate to reunite along the way.  And they were fortunate to have the resources from their work with SHONA, to pay for truck rides and motorcycle taxis and any other way they could find to flee. Otherwise, with their disabilities, it would have been impossible.

And eventually, miraculously, they made it to Bukavu.  That is roughly 130 miles, on roads that would not qualify even as dirt roads in this part of the world.  Along the way strangers welcomed them into their homes.

In Bukavu, the hotels were expensive, and the city on a hill during rainy season, was virtually impossible for them to navigate.  Seeking safer ground, they tried to cross the border into the neighboring country, but with 5 disabled people, 3 babies, 5 children, and 2 teenagers they were turned away.  We looked too much like refugees, they said.

So they fled, back to their homes in Goma.  If we are going to suffer, we might as well suffer at home, they said. 

Again, miraculously, they made it safely through an overnight bus ride through an incredibly volatile area.

And they returned to Goma, to find all the food and water in their homes gone, the markets closed and the nights filled with shooting.  The rebels had pulled out of Goma by this point, but the shooting had not stopped.  And it still hasn't.

The shooting is not war...exactly.  It is another of those unspoken tragedies of war.  Goma always has a bit of a "wild west" feel, especially on the edge of town where the ladies live, and where refugee camps are located.  But the seizure of Goma, and the following withdrawal, has left the town spinning out of control.  The night is full of shooting because bandits are arriving at people's homes.  Shooting their way into these tiny wooden homes, with nothing but a small lock on the door, to demand whatever they can.  Who are these bandits?  That is precisely the problem.  Who knows?  Perhaps they are connected to the war, or perhaps they are the young men who live down the street.  As long as there is confusion, there is impunity. 

So the people of Goma take justice into their own hands.  Yesterday when I talked to one of the ladies, she reported that her neighborhood had risen up against a group of thieves.  They caught one of the thieves, threw rocks, beat and killed him.

So do you stay or do you go?  The ladies have tried both at this point, and I can't say that either one has worked out very well.  For now they are back in Goma, but with this question constantly replaying in their minds.  At least when the volcano erupted, it was easy to tell when the lava was cool and firm.  But as for peace in Goma, nothing is ever really cool or firm.

In this holiday season, I can't help but be especially struck by the Christmas story.   I am especially struck because I learned just the other day that Argentine is pregnant.  With her tiny body, and a little one growing inside, I really cannot imagine how she made that trip to Bukavu and back.  But she did.  And there were strangers who welcomed her, and pushed her "wheelchair bicycle" and helped her along the way.  And so have all of you, through your thoughts and prayers, and through your support of SHONA.

This year, in the midst of all the twinkling lights, cheery songs, and colorful packages, my eye keeps seeking out that manger scene.  There is something truthful in it. It is more sobering for sure, but also somehow more miraculous.  And that gives me hope.

Please keep the people of Eastern Congo in your prayers this holiday season.

Argentine, Mapendo, Solange and Riziki, never cease to remind that beauty and hope shine most brightly in the most difficult of places.  I got a new shipment of their stock last week and I was floored by the beauty.  You can find their handcrafted work at www.shonacongostore.com

    

The prison in Goma

Recently the New York Times featured an article with the headline "Congo prison called worst in Africa".

And with that, Goma is famous once again. If not for war and erupting volcanoes, why not terribly bad prisons?

The article is about the local Goma prison, and was probably sparked by the most recent incident at the prison. Last month a group of male prisoners got their hands on grenades (don't ask me how) and started throwing grenades in the middle of the night as part of an escape attempt. Soldiers surrounded the prison and began shooting back. The escape attempt was foiled, and in chaos and frustration, the prisoners turned on their fellow inmates, raping at least 8 of the females in the prison.

I don't know whether the Goma prison is really the worst in Africa, that seems like quite a distinction. But the prison certainly is an example of the larger problems in Eastern Congo. It is commonly said that rape has become a weapon of war here in Eastern Congo. But that seems to imply that the rape is a calculated strategy, aimed at achieving some end. And that it is somehow limited to places where actual fighting is going on. I would argue that it is perhaps the opposite. Perhaps war and chaos have become merely tools themselves, in service of something even uglier...self-gratification. Is there rape because there is fighting? Or is there fighting so that people can rape and pillage? All you need is the excuse of chaos, in the form of battle or a prison riot, to help yourself to whatever you want. And this, to me, is deeply frightening. Because when too many young men have developed a taste for the spoils of war, what motivation will they ever have to stop?

Indepdence Day in Goma: Part II

Argentine and Mapendo (two of the SHONA women) spent last night trying to decide where to hide. They heard shooting and assumed the town was being attacked. After all, Eastern Congo is still a war-zone. When the sound of explosions eventually quieted, they tried to go to sleep, assuring themselves that it had just been a random gun-battle.

This morning they arrived at class and I asked them what they thought of last nights events. They said, "Yes that was a lot of shooting. We thought the war was starting again."

In fact it was fireworks. Yesterday was Independence Day in Congo and a fireworks display ran for at least half an hour last night. I couldn't see the fireworks from my house, and apparently Argentine and Mapendo couldn't see them from their hiding spots. But we could all hear the explosions, and I have to say that it was as long and impressive sounding a display as I have ever heard.

I, for one, am not suprised the a fireworks display in a region which is still a war-zone, would scare the living daylights out of people. They announced it on the radio beforehand but many people, like Argentine and Mapendo, didn't hear the warnings and were left to assume the worst.

Here is the incident as reported by Reuters...


GOMA, Congo, June 30 (Reuters) -
"Independence day fireworks sent terrified Congolese sprinting for cover on Tuesday in fear that war had broken out again in their eastern city.

Officials had organised the display in Goma to highlight efforts to end more than a decade of conflict in the Democratic Republic of Congo and to show a sign of normal life returning to the region, where a peace deal took hold in January.

But residents feared it was a raging gun battle."

Especially in many rural areas, Eastern Congo is still a war zone, with or without a fireworks display. In too many places villagers still sleep in the forests for fear of being attacked in their homes.


And even in Goma, security is a distant dream. Look at Mapendo's comment...

"Yes that was a lot of shooting".

Mapendo said this today, in a casual sort of way, well-after she had time to decide that the "war" had not actually started again. Still, it seemed entirely probable to her, that with or without a war, a raging gun battle could be conducted nearby. What kind of peace is this that the average citizen does not even need a war to explain over thirty minutes of intense explosions and shooting?

Demanding More

I read a lot of news articles on Eastern Congo that seem to miss the full picture of what is going on here.

But here is an AP article that I feel accurately represents some of the security problems facing Eastern Congo.

Please note that this article discusses the atrocities being committed at the hands of the Congolese army. There are many rebel soldiers, who have not been integrated into the Congolese army. They are also raping, burning villages, and killing civilins in large numbers. I have heard many reports from friends here in Goma who say that their family members who live in rural villages are currently sleeping in the forests because the rebels come to their homes at night, to pillage, burn, rape and kill. So the point is that these atrocities are not by any means limited to the Congolese Army, but nor are they limited to the Rebels. The people of Eastern Congo face threat from both sides, and in the end the motivation is largely the same. On both sides there are too many young men with guns but with no sense of order or consequences. Congo has become a culture where one is expected to "pay oneself" and this is particularly true for soldiers, who use the strength of their weapons to exact payment in the form of money, goods, sex, or terror.

This article asks the question of how the UN can continue to operate in such a culture. The Congolese Army is heavily supported by UN forces, and yet the Congolese soldiers continue to commit attrocities. On one hand the protection provided by the presence of UN soldiers is tangible and necessary. On the other hand, if the UN is unable to change the entire security culture, then why strengthen forces that continue to prey on their own people? (Don't get me wrong, I strongly appreciate the presence of the UN here and I think overall they are doing a good job with what they have. However I must admit that there are some hard questions that must be asked) This is a central question not just for the UN, but for the many bilateral donors to Congo, and even for the many aid and development agencies working in Eastern Congo. It is not just the soldiers who prey on their own people. Congo is a predatory country and the government preys on its people, asking for bribes at every turn, while providing few real services in return. The vast majority of people here live in complete poverty while a select group become rich. The ultimate question is whether such a culture can be changed, and whether this is happening. And if not, by choosing to accept such a culture and work within it, are we ultimately liable for the atrocities it perpetuates, whether in the form of killings or in the form of corruption and the neglect of its citizens.

I am often confronted with evidence here that the people of Congo have lost all sense of what they should expect, in fact demand, of their government. I get so frustrated at their ease in demanding that NGOs and the international community provide security to Congo and solve the woes of the country, while they easily accept that their own government does nothing. Yet I can see how overtime it becomes easy to accept that reality that is in front of you, and lose sense of what should be demanded. If we, in the international community, are finding it impossible to hold the Congolese soldiers and in fact the Congolese government to any kind of respectable standards how can we expect a population which has been trodden upon for generations to stand up for themselves?

The problem is not just with the UN. The problem is with all of the countries, especially my own, that heavily support a government that provides so very little to its people. The problem is with all of the international companies that sign mining contracts with the Congolese government, knowing that the official they are working with is acting in his own best interest, and does not in any way, shape or form actually represent the best interests of the Congolese people. The problem is with all of the ex-pats, including myself that shake their heads and say "Oh Congo", while demanding nothing more. If we don't demand it, who will?

Congo ex-rebels accused of rape and killings

By ANITA POWELL – 5 hours ago

GOMA, Congo (AP) — Congolese rebels who became part of the country's army under a peace deal are looting, raping and killing the civilians they are meant to protect, U.N. military commanders told top U.N. officials on Monday.

The failure of integration efforts threatens attempts to bring peace to eastern Congo. The mineral-rich region has been torn apart by violence since Hutu militias who carried out Rwanda's genocide fled there almost 15 years ago.

Congo's violence has previously sucked in half a dozen of its neighbors, destabilizing central Africa.

Since a peace agreement was signed in 2003, about 16,600 rebel fighters have been integrated into the regular Congolese army — itself a notoriously ill-disciplined force of roughly 125,000.

Brig. Gen. Bipin Rawat, the commander of the U.N.'s forces in the north Kivu region, said that had not stopped the former rebels from murdering, torturing and raping civilians.

"We have been insisting to them that they refrain from carrying out human rights violations," he told visiting members of the U.N. Security Council who are touring the region.

A U.N. human rights official, Marie Plamadiala, warned the Security Council that the U.N. could be held responsible for human rights violations committed by the Congolese army.

The Congolese army, "is indeed supported by MONUC. And they are indeed committing these human rights violations. We should address these violations otherwise we could be considered complicit," she said in Kiwanja, where more than 100 people were killed last year.

Lyn Lusi, the director of HEAL Africa hospital, said she had seen an increase in the number of rapes since the rebels were integrated.

"We have to put much more emphasis on the protection of civilians," she said. Her hospital in the eastern town of Goma sometimes treats over 400 rape victims a month. Sex attacks in Congo are infamous for their brutality and frequency.

"The civilian population is under general suspicion from both sides as collaborators," said Marcel Stoessel, a Congo-based director for Oxfam.

The 16,475-strong U.N. mission, known by its French acronym MONUC, says it does not have enough soldiers to protect all civilians in Congo, a country larger than Western Europe but with only 300 miles (480 kilometers) of paved roads.

That forces them to depend on the Congolese soldiers to help defend the population. But Lt. Gen. Babacar Gaye, military commander of the U.N. mission, said the Congolese soldiers had not been paid for five months. He said the U.N. was feeding 20,000 Congolese soldiers every day because they had no food for themselves.

Congo is notoriously corrupt and army officers frequently steal the paychecks they are supposed to disburse, sending their men to prey on the population instead.

Gaye said the violence against civilians was unlikely to stop soon.

"We are on the way of progress," he said. "Unfortunately this way is paved with atrocities."

Earlier this year there was major fighting in eastern Congo, continuing a cycle of conflict that has engulfed Africa's Great Lakes region for years. There has been a lull in the violence since relations with neighboring Rwanda improved, following Rwanda's arrest of a Congolese rebel.

The Congolese government has frequently accused Rwanda of supporting some of the fighters in an effort to flush out the remains of the genocidal forces hiding in the forests.

Congo is the U.N. envoys' third stop on a four-nation tour focusing on some of Africa's hotspots.

Copyright © 2009 The Associated Press. All rights reserve

A woman I admire

A woman I admire died this week. It is a great loss. She was a scholar who was determined to document the truth even when it was not popular. She believed that justice must be applied to all sides in a conflict. And she spoke up when it would have been easier to remain silent.

This morning I spoke to the mother of a boy whose school fees we have paid for the past two years. When I met him, he was 9 years old and had been to school for a total of 3 months in his life. I taught him to read and write and then put him in school. I held his hand when he started school, had him do his homework at my house. And he was doing ok.

Except that in the past month he fell apart. He stole two phones from our house. One of the phones had over $200 worth of credit on it, although he didn’t know that at the time. That money could have paid for his school fees until high school graduation.

And he lied, and he started skipping school, and he falsified his grades…

I required this boy to tell his mother what he had done. I’m not sure what result I expected, but I know I didn’t get it. She took the news in stride, appearing only mildly interested. She did not demand explanations. She was not enraged. She really didn’t have much to say to her child, this 11 year-old boy who has just destroyed his only chance of going to school.

This corner of the world is known for being loud and chaotic. But there is another side to the culture that fosters silence. Silence in place of “calling someone out”. The people who do wrong, the people who steal, the people who lie and even the people who kill are not often held to account. News of theft and corruption, even when it is personal, is often met with a shake of a head rather than indignation. Sometimes this is because those who do wrong hold power, but it goes beyond that. There appears to be little to say, even to the child who has so thoroughly lost his way. A common response is “nifanye nini?” What can I do?

Perhaps to speak requires believing; believing that change is possible. That a better world exists. Whether you are documenting the atrocities of war or the mistakes of a child, to speak the truth you must believe that a better world, or a better person, could exist. Indeed, refusing to fall silent in the face of wrong may be the ultimate act of hope.

And perhaps this is why it grieves me so much. To see a parent who has lost the will to demand better of her child, and a world that has lost the will to demand better of those in power. It is the loss of hope.

The woman who died this week, spent her life documenting the horrors that we inflict on eachother. She counted and recorded atrocities. She must have been a woman of great hope. To regard with open eyes the depths to which we fall, and demand that we remember the people we could be, the people we should be.

This corner of the world is loud and full of noise, but at the same time, I have begun to realize that it is way too quiet here.

No holiday

This morning I read the news that Nkunda (the former leader of the CNDP) had been arrested. And then I headed out the door. As I dodged mud puddles, and trash being burned in the streets, it gradually occurred to me that there were no shops open. I looked at my watch, wondered what time they could possibly open, and cursed myself for getting out the door too early. This is probably the only time in my life when that has occurred. And then it struck me that by now, the shops really should be open. The outside vendors were all set up, with shoe displays and peanuts available on every corner, but the doors to every shop remained firmly shut.

A women came up to me saying “Nkunda, Nkunda, Nkunda…”; she said it in a mournful tone. I don’t think there are many people in Goma mourning Nkunda’s arrest, nor are they likely to be shouting it in the streets if they are, so I assume she was taunting me. As a member of the "international community", I guess she assumed that I should be a fan of his. The "international community" has long been accused by Congolese of supporting Nkunda.

As I trudged home, unable to find a single shop open, I asked a number of people why the shops were shut. I was informed by a number of different sources that today had been declared a holiday to celebrate Nkunda’s arrest. As it later turned out, there was no holiday. In fact the shops were closed because of a merchant strike related to customs taxes.

So no holiday for Nkunda. I must say, it didn’t really look like much of a holiday anyway. Apart from my “mournful” lady, no one was shouting in the streets. In Goma in the past few months, I have listened to no shortage of demands for Nkunda to be removed and claims that if only Nkunda were removed the region would be in great shape. It is understandable that people would expect a holiday today.

But I think that Nkunda’s arrest has taken the population by surprise. There was no time to plan a proper holiday. Not even a march in the street. No one seems to know what to make of the whole situation.

Yes, there have been a series of suprising turn-abouts in the past two weeks. First the CNDP ousted Nkunda from leadership. Then, despite stalled peace talks in Kenya, the CNDP, the Rwandan government and the Congolese government called a meeting here in Goma and agreed to work together. Apparently as part of that agreement, Rwandan soldiers have been permitted to enter the country. And finally a joint Rwandan/Congolese force put the pressure on Nkunda, causing him to flee into Rwanda where he was promptly arrested. All of the above would have been unimaginable even two weeks ago.

This is a place that has been longing to celebrate some sign that the war is ending. And this is a people who know how to celebrate. But I have to say, that even though there is no shortage here of people who are glad that Nkunda has been arrested, a holiday has definitely not been called. Even here, a place that would love to declare a victory, any victory, there is still a sense that we aren’t there yet.

On the ground

Back on the ground, here in Goma, it seems as though I never left. Goma looks the same. The UN tanks are still on the traffic circle near our house, the streets are still crowded with people, and my husband, friends and co-workers are all safe and well. But a month has passed and it seems that everyone I talk to has a story to tell.

One friend became sick while I was gone and her mother and grandmother traveled from their rural village deep in rebel territory, to visit her in Goma. They arrived safely, despite the fact that they were traveling between rebel-held and government-held territory. But on the way home their bus was attacked by gun-weilding men and shots were fired. As the passangers fled, her grandmother, an elderly woman unable to keep up with the crowd, was crushed in the chaos and has been hospitalized.

Another friend's uncle was on the road from Goma to Rutshuru, when his vehicle was attacked. He was killed and the driver was injured. He worked for an international NGO and as the story got reported over the news, that seemed to be the key feature of the report. Yet when his family told me of the death, no one even mentioned that. They have lost their father, that is all they have to say.

In another province, fighting has escalated with a Ugandan rebel group. As though Congo needs a few more crises. Yesterday I was visited by a friend who had just returned from a trip to that province. She had gone for the funeral of a relative who was caught in that recent fighting and killed.

Then she returned to her home in Goma to discover that her neighbor's house had been attacked by bandits while she was gone. Her children, who had remained in Goma while she traveled to the funeral, heard shooting during the night. In the morning they woke to discover that their neighbor's house had been attacked. Armed bandits had attacked the compound, killed the guard and attempted to enter the house. She arrived home just in time to see the guard's body being taken away.

So time passes, for those of us who are lucky. And we tell the stories.

Yet good things happen too.
For those of you following this blog, you will recall the story of the young woman who did not know what had happened to her family in Kiwanja. Over the past month, they have all been located, safe and well.

In the spirit of a new year, full of hope, we must remind ourselves of these stories too.

News of family

As I mentioned earlier, one of the Shona women grew up in Kiwanja, which was the site of intense fighting and brutal killings a few weeks ago. Her older brother, older sister, and two younger brothers all were living in Kiwanja at the time of the fighting. She had no idea what had happened to any of her siblings or whether they were safe. She has now received news of her older sister. At the time of the fighting, her older sister fled. She walked for a week, with two children in tow, to reach the town of Butembo. THat is 245 kilometers. The youngest child is 6 years old. They carried whatever possessions they could on their heads. We are very happy to hear that they have arrived safely.

But nothing has been heard of the three brothers. Many young men were killed in Kiwanja during the fighting. The CNDP claims that many of the young men killed were mai mai soldiers(another rebel group working with the government). It is hard to say what happened, but mai mai are "grass roots" rebels who do not often have access to uniforms and might well be in civilian clothing. This puts all young men at high risk. And as areas like kiwanja are taken first by one side and then by the other, the entire population is at risk of being accused of being an "enemy collaborator" at one time or another. After all, what options does an unarmed population have? How do you choose whether to "collaborate" or not when gun-weilding soldiers take over your town? What choice do you have?

And so the population runs. And we continue to wait for more news.

Choices

The Shona ladies have decided to rent a small house across the border in Rwanda for three months. Security continues to be a significant concern here in Goma, and they have the good fortune of work that they can pack up and take with them. The house in Rwanda will be only a couple miles from their current home in Congo, but the border provides significant security.

They will have to cover the cost of an extra rent payment, while they continue to pay their monthly rent in Goma (they have a year long lease). This has been a hard decision for them to make, since the extra cost is signficant, but in the end they have concluded that you can replace money and you cannot replace people.

My husband and I will remain in Goma. Our apartment has much greater security than their little house, so we feel ok. We also have the benefit of a car if we need it, to make a quick departure.

Life in Goma seems to require weighing odds that you should never have to weigh. Some residents of Goma have fled to Rwanda or to Kinshasa or other more secure places. However the vast majority have stayed behind. For those who have chosen to make their life in Goma, who are tied to Goma, it is almost impossible to leave. Homes are crowded with relatives of all sorts who have fled other areas. How do you flee with all of them? How do you leave them behind?

I recall hearing that after the volcano errupted in 2002, people were very quick to return home, often walking on hot lava to reach their homes. They returned quickly, despite continuing danger, out of fear that the town would be looted and all their belongings would be gone if they did not return.

It is easy to say that your possessions are not worth risking your life. And health is more important than wealth. But for people living on the edge of poverty, the two are not very far apart. It only takes a glance at the situation in the refugee camps to understand the problem. People are sleeping out in the open or under tarps. With no door to lock, how do you stop drunken soldiers from doing as they please? I read the other day about a child who was killed as she slept by a stray bullet. With no wall to hid behind, no bed to hide under...the vulnerable only become more vulnerable. A home, no matter how humble, provides some sense of security.

So the women of Shona have made an unusual choice in the scheme of things. They have chosen to move to a more secure area. This perhaps demonstates their sense of vulnerability. They are handicapped women living alone. But perhaps it also demonstates their widening sense of choices. For the poor, life often presents very few choices. The women of Shona are far from rich, but through their sewing they have begun to earn enough to be able sustain the added cost of creating a temporary home somewhere else.

As an American I have noticed that this is perhaps one of my greatest luxuries. I always feel that I could go somewhere else. I can make other choices. I could do other work. For many of the people of Goma there is no choice to make. They cannot afford to lose the marginal security that their homes, their possessions, and their work provide. I often struggle under the weight of choices. They are simply so hard to make. But perhaps I should also be more thankful for them.

A few updates:

Still no news of the family in Kiwanja. We continue to pray for them.

No suspects have been identified in the killing of my husband's staff member.

The refugees of Kibati have not been moved off the front lines.

The Security Council has agreed to send a little over 3000 more troops to Congo.

Over twenty men were pulled out of a UN convoy and arrested by Government soldiers who claimed that the UN was transporting Nkunda's soldiers. The UN claims they were not Nkunda's soldiers, rather Mai mai soldiers ( a rebel group that works with the government, not against them)

The UN Convoy was then attacked by stone-throwing civilians.

Quick Update

For those of you wanting to follow more news I recommend a BBC update on the fighting in Eastern Congo:

BBC article

I read an article yesterday that described the people of Goma as having an ability to rebound from death that only comes from overexposure to it. It seemed an apt description.

Fighting continues in various areas ourside of Goma (none of them particularly close to Goma). CNDP troops appear to be consolidating their territory in North Kivu. The days in Goma continue as normal. The evenings and nights are punctuated by occassional shooting. We never find out who was shooting or why. We hope that it is the shooting of police and UN officers that we are hearing more than the shooting of bandits. The population is uneasy, both because of the general insecurity and because rebel soldiers remain close to the edge of town, although they have apparently withdrawn a few kilometers (or been pushed back, depending on who you talk to). However they are still nearby. There have been demands to lengthen the distance between the two sides as well as demands to move the refugee camp of Kibati off the front lines. While everyone seems to be accepting the necessity of both these demands, implementation is another story.

As for us, we are here along with everybody else, rebounding as best we can.

reality

One of the Shona women grew up in Kiwanja. Almost all of her family continue to live there.

Two weeks ago, at the beginning of their successful march to Goma, Nkunda's rebels took the town of Kiwanja. They began setting up their own administration in the area, and a week later, were surprised by an attack from a pro-government militia. The militia gained control of the town, but after several days of fierce fighting, Nkunda's rebels retook the town. When reporters and aid agencies were finally able to enter Kiwanja, they found many bodies. At the first count it was twelve civilians (or fighters dressed in civilian clothes). Human Rights Watch is now investigating at least fifty deaths from this incident. Many claim that there were over two hundred killed.

Throughout this time, phone connections have been cut and our Shona woman was unable to learn what had happened to her family. Just yesterday she got news that her cousin's husband, brother in law and 2 week old child all were killed in the fighting. She has received confirmation of this news from several sources, but does not know how they were killed or by whom. She has an older sister with three children, an older brother with three children, and two younger brothers who were all living in Kinwanja at the time. No one has been able to give her any information about what might have happened to them. They could be among the hundreds of thousands of refugees fleeing in circles around Eastern Congo, at a loss as to where to run this time. They could be injured. It is impossible to know.

Please keep her family, as well as all the innocent people caught in the middle of this fighting, in your thoughts and prayers.

Elda, one of the Shona women, learned yesterday that 3 of her extended family members were killed last week in Kiwanja. One of them was a two week old baby. She has no specific information about how they were killed. A number of other relatives, some of whom she is very close to, have been unreachable since the fighting started. The people who confirmed the death of some of her family, had no idea where the rest had gone. We are praying

Home

Last night week we slept in our own bed for the first time in two weeks. It is wonderful to be home. We have returned to Goma (on the condition that we are willing to leave again at a moment's notice).

Unfortunately this does not mean that the war in Eastern Congo is moving in the right direction.

The town of Goma has regained relative normalicy for the moment and so we are here. But the fighting continues in other areas, and all sides seem to be building up their forces.

At the edge of town is a refugee camp called Kitabi, housing 50,000 refugees. Nkunda's rebels hold the area just north of Kibati, putting the camp at the front lines between the government and rebels. Obviously this is an unstable situation. On Friday rebel soldiers at the front line fired their guns in the air, throwing government forces into a panic, and starting an exchange of gunfire and mortars. The population in the refugee camp picked up their stuff and began to run towards Goma. Inside Goma, everything shut down in an instant. All the shops in Birere (the comercial section of town) immediatly shut their doors, and everyone went running home. The fighting turned out to be a minor skirmish, but the difficulty of having a refugee camp on the front lines, and a major city only a step away, is abundantly clear. We go back to normal, but in a second, everything can change.

In the meantime, we are happy for the chance to be home, and for the opportunity for the Shona women to begin sewing again.

What to write?

It is hard to know what to write. We wait everyday for some definitive news that the situation is going one way or the other. But there is no definitive news. We wait expecting to hear the shooting start up at night again, but no shooting (thankfully).

We are able to cross into Goma during the day, but we continue to return to Rwanda by nightfall. Everyday, we wonder whether it might be possible to sleep at home, in Goma, today. And everyday we just don't know.

Goma feels almost normal. Everyone is anxious to resume life. After a week with no markets and no work, people are happy to be able to start again. In the streets people look at eachother in a somewhat surprised fashion, simply happy to be alive. As though this nightmarish past week was some kind of big mistake. Yesterday as I returned to Goma and greeted our friends and neighbors, everyone said that they had been very scared. They reported hiding under beds and trying to figuring out where they could run to. Our apartment is in a big compound, with many Congolese families, a bread bakery, a restaurant, an ice making stand etc... Although no one looted our apartment, soldiers did enter the compound demanding to see the landlord and shooting in the air. Somehow higher level soldiers were called, and the belligerent soldiers were told to go elsewhere.

Now our neighbors are out on their balconies again, washing clothes and cooking meals. Congolese music is pounding from nearby restaurants. The only notable difference in town is the presence of UN vehicles patroling more than they used to, and the visible lack of government soldiers.

But there are serious realities lying just beneath the surface. No one knows what is going on. Rumors of all sort are rampant. But no one really knows why the town is calm, or how long it can remain that way.

The reality is that rebel soldiers remain on the doorstep of Goma. They continue to hold to a ceasefire that they declared last week. However the rebels have demanded negotations with the government and have stated that they will fight if the government refuses to negotiate with them. Meanwhile the government refuses to negotiate directly with these rebels. In January a peace agreement was signed which allowed for negotiations between the government and all 20 rebel groups in Congo collectively. The government says it will only negotiate in this context, with all the rebels, not directly with the rebels lead by Nkunda (the CNDP). This is bascially a face-saving position, a refusal to recognize the amount of power that the CNDP holds. After all it was the CNDP that sent the government forces running, and it is the CNDP that has doubled its territory in the last two months, and stands poised to take Goma itself. The CNDP are uninterested in being lumped in with a bunch of small rebel groups that hold little or no power. They want real recognition, and are willing to continue fighting and killing to get it.

So while Rwanda and Congo have been under heavy international pressure to reach a solution and both sides have agreed to a summit meeting "sometime this month", Rwanda is busy saying that they have no role in the war in Congo, and COngo is busy refusing to meet with the CNDP directly. It is hard to imagine how we are going to get anywhere under these conditions.

Fighting restarted in Kiwanja, a town about 50 miles from Goma. The area was taken by rebel forces (CNDP) on their march into Goma last week. Now the town has apparently been taken by another rebel group, allied with the government. The people of the area are surely suffering. And this restart in fighting can not promise anything good.

As you can see, the situation is hard to follow. It is hard to know the "end game" of the different parties involved, or how they plan to achieve it.

Two of the Shona women have returned to Goma, to stay with their families there. This is fine, as they have immediate family that will look after them if fighting starts again. But the other two ladies remain with us in Rwanda. They have no family in Goma, and would have no one to help them flee if fighting started.

As one of them explained, "our friends and neighbors tell us to come back to Goma. But they all have two feet. And if fighting starts again they will pack their stuff, put it on their heads and leave. Me, what can I do? On my crutches I won't even make it to the corner. It is different when you have your mother nearby, she will put you on her back and carry you. But who, besides a mother, will do that for us...It is best that we stay in safety until a real solution is reached...then we can return to Goma in peace."

So we wait.

And we wait...

We have now been in Rwanda almost a week. We would like to go home. The town of Goma continues to be relatively quiet. A strong police commander was brought into Goma and they started shooting people who were out looting. So, now, we only here shots occassionally, and it might be the government shooting to stop bandits, rather than the other way around.

And we wait...
Nkunda remains on the outskirts of town, apparently waiting for news of negotiations between Rwanda and Congo. Or maybe waiting for something else entirely...who knows.
The people of Goma wait for markets to open, schools to open and work to begin again.
The refugees wait for food, water, and medical help
the aid agencies wait for the refugees (where have they all gone? They have apparently been forced out of camps and disappeared in all directions...)
And we wait for news that it is ok to return to Congo...

We have gotten some good news.

Our house and the Shona house were not looted! For all the reports of wide-spread looting we appear to be incredibly lucky. The sewing equipment for Shona as well as all our merchandise remained untouched.

Also, thank you to the people who donated so generously to Shona. We now have enough money to sustain the women for several more weeks in Congo, which should be plenty. Sometimes the world seems so big and we seem so far away. And when we realize that people so far away are thinking of us and concerned for us, it means a lot. Thank you.

What can we do?

A number of people have written and asked "what can I do?"
That is a good question. All of us who are sitting in relative safety (whether it is the safety of a hotel just across the border or a house thousands of miles away) struggle with this question.

For the past two days Goma has been strangely silent. Nkunda is continuing to hold his rebel troops outside the city of Goma. Behind rebel lines refugees camps are being forcibly emptied and refugees are being told to go home (many of whom have not been home for months or even years), sending hundreds of thousands of refugees into the streets with no water, no food and no shelter. Aid agencies are unable to reach the vast majority of these refugees because of the continued fighting and insecurity in these areas. The relative calm in Goma is largely due to the fact that heavy negotiations are taking place between Congo and Rwanda, and the international community has sent a number of high level diplomats to support these negotiations. But many fear that this is the calm before the storm. Unless a heroic accomplishment leads to a real agreement between all parties involved (and how many times has this been tried and failed before?) the war could ignite to catastrophic proportions.

So we are all left asking what we can do.

As soon as we are able to return to Congo, I hope to have a better idea of how to meet some of the needs of the many people who are suffering there.

In the meantime, the four Shona ladies are fortunate to be here in relative safety. They are staying in one room of a guest house and eating one meal a day, plus bread to tide them over. We are paying $25 a day to be able to do this. ($15 a day for the room, $10 a day for food) We hope to be able to return to Congo soon, but there is no certainty on that level. They have left behind all their sewing equipment, plus about $500 worth of merchandise that was ready to be shipped out. We are hoping that the house was not looted but have yet to receive any confirmation on that. In the meantime, we are unable to continue sewing and expenses continue to rise.

We have a stock of items in the US that continue to sell on ebay. Your purchases are always appreciated, and especially now.

www.shonacongo.com

If you are intersted in making a small donation to help fund the Shona women as they stay out of harms way, that is also much appreciated. All donations will be used to cover the cost of the room and food for the women.

I know that the people of Eastern Congo would also greatly appreciate you keeping them in your thoughts and prayers. They would also appreciate you spreading the news about the situation in Congo. Being in the midst of a tragedy is terrible, and feeling that the tragedy has become invisible in the eyes of the world, is devastating. Please follow the news, talk to people, and help keep the eyes of the world on this disaster.

www.monuc.org

BBC

As it turned out...

As it turned out, my husband did not cross the border. The border is open, but our security advisor advised against any visits into Goma. People in Goma continue to call us saying that people are starting to move around. The markets have not opened but motorcycle taxis are returning to the streets and some shops are opening.

However we are receiving messages from the US Embassy stating that all US citizens should leave Goma immediately and that there will be some kind of announcement this afternoon and increased chance of rioting.

So here we are. Waiting for the other shoe to drop and praying for the best for all our friends in Goma.

The strangest of wars

Check out the the
NY Times Article that was on the front page Thursday.

This is the strangest of wars. Two days ago the US embassy sent out text messages to American citizens stating that the embassy was evacuating all it's staff in Goma (as far as we know, it has none) and that American citizens should leave immediately by all means possible. We had already left, as I am sure everyone else had as well.

Today we were sent a message stating that things are relatively calm in Goma and we should feel free to go home or to work. Hmm...

The people of Goma have woken up today after a relatively calm night, and are hopeful. The sun is shining and maybe the rebels have gone away. Or something. Maybe an agreement has been reached, we know high level negotiations have been going on.

But you can't help but wait for the other shoe to drop. And you can't help but feel like this is a game. A terrible game, in which way too many people have died. Why did Nkunda reach the outskirts of town and stop? Leaving the town with a vacuum of power and opening it up to a terrible spree of lootings and killings. Was it a show of force? To put him in a good negotiating position? Because he didn't want the humanitarian catastrophe of Goma on his hands? Or is he simply waiting?

From our American perspecitve, we are left with questions. From the Congolese perspective, they are left with hope. It only takes one calm night for the Congolese people to hope again. Shops are beginning to open, people are beginning to move around. And we, all of us, hope that life can begin again.

As for right now, my husband has crossed the border to scope Goma out, see how things are looking. We'll see what news he brings on his return and go from there.

War

Monday began as any normal day. I went to Birere, the cloth section of town, bought a new supply and headed over to the Shona house. We were in the middle of a meeting, when shots fired out. I called my husband to see what was going on and he said that people were throwing rocks at UN soldiers in Birere and the UN soldiers were probably firing into the air to disperse the crowd. As the ladies and I continued our meeting we heard cars rushing down our quiet little road. Parents were sending cars to have their childen picked up from school in a hurry. These days the town is tense, and shots fired sends the town into panic. Shops and markets are immediately closed in fear of pillaging.

In Goma, there are motorcycle taxis everywhere. This makes up one of the largest forms of employment for young men. While I personally know many wonderful motorcycle taxi guys, as a group they are known for driving badly and having a mob mentality. If one motorcyclist is killed, the other motorcyclists often cut the road with a mob-like demonstration, demanding justice...or perhaps just retribution. They have been at the root of many riots in Goma over the years.

So on Monday, things were getting tense in Goma. People were throwing rocks at the UN because rebel soldiers were approaching Goma. On Sunday a government military base about 30 miles from Goma fell for the second time in the past two weeks. And it appeared the rebels were advancing toward Goma,claiming towns along the way and sending floods of already displaced people rushing towards Goma. The people of Goma, and Eastern Congo in general, are frustrated with the apparent failure of both the Congolese military and the UN soldiers. I am not sure why, perhaps people simply expect less of their own soldiers, but a lot of the frustration is directed towards the UN rather than the Congolese soldiers. Perhaps it is the belief that the UN should have the weight of the entire international community behind it and therefor should have unending resources to fight this war.

And then the UN hit a motorcyclist. Accidentally. The roads in Goma are crazy even on good days and motorcyclists get hit regularly. But this was the UN and the motorcyclist died. The other motorcyclists raised a crowd and shot and killed two UN soldiers. During the conflict the UN soldiers killed 5 people and stormed a number of houses.

We were told to leave. All NGO (non-profit organizations) were told to get their cars off the roads. People often assume NGOs are somehow connected to the UN or atleast supported by it. Even myself, as I walk down the street on any given day, I will be called mzungu (white person) perhaps 5-10 times. I will also be called MONUC (UN solidier) atleast once or twice. This always seems rather amusing to me, that I could in any way be mistaken for a soldier. But suffice it to say that the international community is perceived as one body, and right now, we are perceived as one body that at best is doing nothing, and at worst is aiding the rebels.

So we crossed the border to Rwanda, and are staying in a hotel close to the border. We are probably 3 miles from our apartment in Goma, but of course once you cross the border it might as well be a million miles away.

Monday night, as we tried to sleep in the hotel, we could hear shots from time to time. And we got numerous phone calls from all friends and coworkers in Goma, who were hearing lots of shooting, only much louder, and who were scared out of their minds. The shots were largely coming from the main prison in town, where soldiers rioted and escaped, and guards were trying to regain control. But no one knew for sure what was happening or who was really shooting.

The night here can be a scary thing. During the day, life seems tenable in Goma. But night falls around 6:30 here and from then until morning everyone is on their own. Most people don't have cars, so they can't go anywhere after dark. And these days, even driving around in a car at night isn't recommended. Most people don't have power, so they are often sitting in small shacks with their families, praying for the best, listening to shots echo through town, and waiting for daylight. There is no 911 to call if you have a problem. At best people call their friends, who have little to offer, other than a voice on the other end of the line.

And here we were, with the safety of a border between us, and nothing to offer our friends who we left behind. We were forced to leave because we are foreigners who might be targeted. But by leaving we only cement the view that the international community abandons people. Before we left I had a little girl come up to my door, the child of a neighbor I suppose. She informed me “they'll beat you”, in a perfectly calm, matter-of-fact voice. I looked over the balcony she was standing on to the crowds in the street and assumed she was talking about the crowds who were watching the motorcyclists riot. I think she meant that if I went out into the streets they would beat me. I am not sure if she was trying to be helpful or hurtful but I suspect neither. I suspect that she was just stating a fact, much like the weather. And this is what is striking about the mob mentality here. There is a sense that things just happen, and normal people can do nothing to change them.

The four handicapped ladies that I work with live in a house together. It is just a small house, with a couple neighbors in a fairly good section of town. But the Shona ladies are young women, living on their own, with no ability to run away if things start going bad. On Monday night they were informing me that they had not even a penny in the house, and only a little food. Like the rest of the population they were scared. After worrying about them all night on Monday, we were able to bring them over here, across the border, on Tuesday. So here we all are. I'm thankful that we were able to bring them over here, but of course they are only 4 people in a population of 500,000.

UN soldiers were apparently able to turn back the latest approach of rebel soldiers on Tuesday. To stem the tide at least for the day. And they were apparently able to keep the population from throwing too many rocks.

About 20,000 people have been displaced in the last couple days. They are marching on foot, all their possessions on their heads, and arriving on the outskirts of Goma. Many of them are fleeing from refugee camps that were overtaken in the latest fighting and burned to the ground. Refugees are fleeing from the place they already fled to. The idea of wandering without a home is very real here. The people of Eastern Congo are used to packing up and fleeing, again and again. It is no wonder that this place, so rich in soil, is so poor. No one seems to be able to stay long enough to plant anything. Or why plant, what a soldier will reap?